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best-of-funny:

commanderinqueef:

today at the park some guy broke his ankle and one of the people said “give him some lettuce” and everyone just stared at him for like 7 seconds until he said “I meant ice”

X

I’M HONESTLY LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW

OMFG

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hitlervevo:

why the fuck cant we text the police

lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you

breadmaakesyoufat:

causticgambler:

nayariverax:

remember when this thing was number #1 in the uk charts.

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WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT

A RING DING DING DINGDEMGDEMG